Santa Spam

Allowing me to introduce myself as Santa’s most senior elf.
I have a proposal to allow us both to secure incredible wealth.
My former employer (deceased), his reindeer to fermenting fruit applied,
causing the sleigh and a jumbo jet their positions to coincide
He was to apportion gifts to all the little girls and boys.
The workshops all now stand quiet, but contain still all the toys.
The lawyers say I must stay and manage the business and the grounds.
My proposal is to sell all the toys for ONE HUNDRED MILLION UK POUNDS!!!!
I think you must agree that this is quite the impressive amount
But, not being human, the banks all say, I cannot have an account.
How to sell the toys then? I thinks I need a human to assent
to allow me access to their account for a return of ten per cent.
Please keep this quiet, but let me know if you would be so chivalrous
to help me to help both of us have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Ruminate

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