(Not suitable for consumption by vegans or vegetarians)
Before family’s estranged, and pre-present exchange1,
we never change how we arrange certain meats in the range.
Goose can be post-toast, and of course turkey is foremost,
but for pork on your fork most tables don’t boast a roast.
Snaffling sausages and bacon, and your Uncle huffing
concerning the nuts in the traditional stuffing scuffling.
Where’s the beef?
Vow now to allow to not have a cow;
when ploughing through chow have a hog or a sow.
A plucked duck doesn’t suck if you don’t give a fig,
but why not go big for the shindig regarding the pig?
Get cracking on the nerve-racking menu you’re tackling,
and if you’re backing lip-smacking then release the crackling!2
1 And cream before jam obviously!
2 And to answer the inevitable question – the 80’s version of course!