(Warning: This poem is dangerously meaningless if you haven’t read “Running Hot (Abstract)“!)

We’ve had a lot of readers write in to condemn
the authors of this paper. We couldn’t contact them
as to why their results can’t be replicated
or why throughout, their data has been duplicated
from “Four Yorkshiremen”. Sprinkled with illogicality
and propositional fallacies. Unconnected with reality
is the verdict of reviewers The consensus being: in it’s
half-awoken state you’re safe for just ten more minutes.