The Phoenix Diet

The phoenix does not fixate on oranges or on dates
or eat only a grapefruit a day.
It feels no need to eat only bird seed.
It has evolved a different way.

It looks not for ketosis, for the related halitosis
and nausea cause it some disquiet.
If it wants to lose weight at an unhealthy rate
it has the ultimate yoyo diet.

No aromatic smells, or pungent gels.
No use for a wrap or a pill.
The purifying fire of its funeral pyre
reduces its weight to nil.

Just one way it is as bad as all the other fads:
and that occurence is when,
after the conflagration, the phoenix’s reincarnation
puts all the weight back on again.

2 ruminations on “The Phoenix Diet

One of these things is not like the others.

With all due apologies to the Atkins Diet, and other low carb diets in general.

The way in which they differ is in how they affect the insulin cycle.

Perhaps eventually I'll get around to replacing that verse.

Call [me]

I [need to talk to somebody about my deep and abiding love for oscillating purple hairbrushes]

[Edited by Adam]


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