The spiritualist spoke immediately “Greeting and salutations.
Now what is it that I can do for you?
You sounded negative on the phone so I need some clarifications
on how you think I can revitalise your view.”
I told him of my contemplation of imminent termination
and that, well, it seemed to shock him.
That I wanted information on the final destination
he seemed to think was rather grim.
“I can make no advocation of making this transformation
just the thought gives me horripilation.
May I ask for amplification of your recent cogitation
that has led you to this consideration.”
I related my despisation and detestation of civilization
of my desolation and my deprivation,
Of why I sought annihilation, elimination or abdication
without any additional prevarication.
“What a gloomy proclamation. How you suffer from isolation.
But you do not have to feel this alienation.
Have you considered experimentation with powerful fermentations
resulting in intoxication or inebriation?”
I did not like the implication that I’d done no cerebration
and started to feel some aggravation.
I gave my explanation of my deliberation and determination
to experience, or not, my own cessation.
“Well how about copulation, cohabitation or fornication
to present you with supplemental stimulation.
Whether it’s for procreation or just for titillation
would you not enjoy conjugation?”
I countered with asphyxiation, decapitation or cremation
as ways to bring about my extermination.
Would I achieve my expiration or perhaps just mutilation
if I were to settle for defenestration?
“Alternatively there’s baptisation. Begin anew with a celebration
of all that falls under the banner of creation.
A little participation and cultivation of most any denomination
might eventually become your salvation.”
It was clear we never would agree, however long our conversation
while his good cheer just added to my tedium
And those y’honour are the events that led up to my realisation
that I needed to strike a happy medium.